What I Wish I Knew BEFORE Becoming an Entrepreneur's Wife: 5 Things I didn't Expect

If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be sitting in East Texas as a stay-at-home mom to an entrepreneur, I probably would have laughed. Although I have always desired to work with my husband, I never imagined it'd be through business.

I honestly thought we'd be doing ministry together.

But God has a way of taking our predictions and shaping them in a way that still fulfills our godly desires but looks nothing like we imagined.

Becoming an Entrepreneur's Wife has been one of the best things I've ever experienced, but it has also been one of the hardest.

Here are 5 things I wish I had known before becoming an Entrepreneur's Wife:

1. You will feel alone.

   I'm not saying I don't have community, I do. But even with a godly community, there are only so many women who understand the pressures of being married to a business owner while raising a family. It is a unique position - one I didn't realize was so niche.

   
   

   If I could go back, I would tell young Carley to be prepared to walk this path alone. You aren't always going to have a group of people who support, encourage, and comfort you. It's okay. They just don't understand the position you're walking in.

   
   

   You might think people will always celebrate your wins, comfort your losses, and be a friend through the in between. The truth is, people have their own lives to worry about. They don't always see the pain, provision, or purpose in what you're walking in. They aren't meant to carry that load anyway, which leads me to my next point...

   
   

2. God will use your loneliness to bring you in alignment with the right people and your calling.

   I never thought I'd be here, talking about this concept: The Entrepreneur's Wife. Never did I imagine starting a podcast, specifically helping women find purpose as helpers supporting their small business owners. Never did I consider fighting for the Biblical woman and exposing the works of darkness in the feminist movement.

   
   

   These were all things that just happened. Overtime. With lots of prayer. And a longing to build a community where we can express our victories, struggles, and aspirations as business owners.

   
   

   God has created us to be the Esthers of our God-Given Kingdoms. We should not be ashamed of this!

   
   

   Too often, the devil uses people's ideas of religion as a barrier to advancing God's Kingdom. The beauty of our positions is that we can partner with other like-minded Christians to bring forth God's Will in a broken and reckless world.

   
   

3. You will be looked at as the bad guy.

   Everyone wants to be in your shoes, but in reality, they want to benefits not the responsibility. When our business started growing, we received some pretty interesting comments:

   1. "Y'all must be using daddy's money to live off the business."

   2. "I married for love, not money." (As if I married Briston for money and lifestyle)

   3. "All you care about is making money." (Greed)

      
      

   These assumptions are pretty typical. I was not surprised by their comments. What I was surprised by was the lack of intentionality in understanding our story. Briston and I grew up middle-class. We were responsible for paying for our own college and bills. When we got married, we lived on a very minimal budget so that he could pursue the business full-time.

   
   

   Our faith drives our focus for business, but many people assume we only want money for a rich lifestyle and have been so successful because of pre-established privileges.

   
   

   The Christian sphere isn't any better. Jealousy is a real problem within the body of Christ. People, even Christians, don't like it when someone else is doing better than they are. They see it as competition, as if another's success takes away from their purpose or value in life.

   
   

   Covetness is how God defines this behavior. I was very naive in this area. When people would ask, "How are y'all?" I would ignorantly tell them how life was, the business, and what God was doing in our lives. Quickly, I realized, not everyone wants to know how good you actually are- they're just being nice. And when you talk about great things God is doing in your life, business, and personal relationship with Him, they become closed off and distant as if you're the bad guy and have done something to offend or hurt them.

   
   

   This has been a journey for me. Friends I thought were supportive left. Family I thought would cheer and encourage didn't. I began to wonder if what we were doing was wrong.

   
   

   No. You can't help other people's struggles. You can't help other people's lack of understanding and intentionality to celebrate your wins. You can only control yourself, your thoughts, and your behaviors. Discretion, discernment, and wisdom have been major learning curves over these 4 years. The right people will celebrate you, so let the wrong ones go and keep trucking!

   
   

4. You were made for such a time as this, so walk in confidence knowing God is on your side.

   For a while, I felt inadequate in this role. There's a lot of pressure, uncertainty, and so many people don't understand owning, running, and growing a small business.

   
   

   My husband is an amazing businessman, but too many times, I felt unworthy to walk in this position. How could I provide the wisdom he desperately needed to know how to move forward? Why us? Why me?

   
   

   As a woman, you hold a lot of authority in your household. But you also are a blessing to your spouse. I love that Briston affirms me as a gift. He talks about how he worked so hard in college and in growing in his relationship with God so that he could have me as a wife. It makes me feel good - like I don't have to "work" to fulfill this role as his wife. Even if I don't know what to say or do with a business decision, he still loves me and chose me to be his queen in his kingdom.

   
   

5. Serving the lost is the greatest blessing - something you will love more than you can imagine.

   Our community of runners is amazing. I love watching them work so hard for a goal. Serving them makes me realize how beautiful it was for Jesus to serve the people on the streets. He loved them because He saw everything they were doing in their daily lives. How great a position is it to meet people in a space that isn't "churchy" or has religious expectations?! That's when you really get to know people, their hearts, struggles, and why they do what they do.

   
   

   Then there's our employees. Leading them, praying for them. I am so thankful. Don't get me wrong, managing people is hard, but the reward is greater than the toil.

   
   

   Briston and I have learned so much in these 6 years of owning Texas Outlaw - lessons I wouldn't take back. It hasn't always been easy, but it's been worth every moment.

   
   

   If you are an entrepreneur's wife, I encourage you to embrace the season God is walking you through. Enjoy the highs, pray through the lows, and remember God has created you for such a time as this!

   
   

   Let me know what you didn't expect in this role and some things you wish you had known BEFOREHAND. For similar posts, read What an Entrepreneur's Wife is Not: 5 Lies People Believe about the Entrepreneur's Wife.

   
   

   For more content related to being an Entrepreneur's Wife, be sure to listen to the podcast available on Apple Podcast or Spotify and follow us on Instagram and Facebook @ The Entrepreneur's Wife Podcast.

   
   

   God bless!