What Being an Entrepreneur's Wife is NOT

I have been an entrepreneur's wife for almost 4 years now. There are many highs: flexibility in your husband's schedule, fun conversations about the business, dreaming of future ideas, milestones and great wins, etc.

But there are also many lows: hateful comments about my husband, assumptions about why I married him (like being a gold digger), stress of managing a small business, judgment for staying home and not working or contributing financially, etc.

To think this position comes luxuriously without any backlash is like looking at only one side of a coin. It's a deceptive perspective.

One of the reasons I started The Entrepreneur's Wife Podcast was because I saw a need to encourage, inspire, and comfort entrepreneurs' wives. With our husbands' focused on growing small businesses, we can feel alone, isolated, and like no one understands the struggles and victories we face daily.

I wanted a space where entrepreneurs' wives felt welcomed and invited to share the hard truths they often feel judged for expressing.

Truth: our feminist obsessed world hates the idea of the entrepreneur’s wife. They see our submission as weakness, surrender to God's will as cowardly, and sacrifice for our families as a war against women's rights.

Truth: God created the entrepreneur’s wife to be the helpmate our husband needs to accomplish the vision God gave him.

Here are 5 lies I’ve witnessed people believe about the entrepreneur’s wife:

1. You are in the marriage for the money.

   
   

   Maybe some women are, but many women I’ve met and follow fell in love with their husbands BEFORE they were successful business owners.

   
   

   Assuming we only want money, devalues our motives and purpose in the marriage. Perhaps we found our husbands’ ambitions and passions for business attractive, but neither of those longings suggest we are using him for an alterier motive. In fact, the entrepreneurs’ wives I know likewise carry that same ambition, even if they are staying home with the kids.

2. You have no desire to work.

   
   

   Many people assume stay-at-home moms do nothing but sit in their pjs and watch tv. Being a stay-at-home mom/wife doesn’t mean you don’t have goals or dreams. You may be sacrificing your dreams for a season - to raise up godly disciples, or help your husband with the business.

   
   

   A job/career doesn’t automatically equal ambition and hard work. Many people show up to their jobs only because they need the money. They have no desire to work that job but do so out of necessity. We stay home based on family priorities - not a lack of work ethic.

   
   

   Women who are not in the role of an entrepreneur’s wife need to be careful not to judge those who are for not working.

   
   

   Odds are they work behind-the-scenes for the business without anyone knowing. Yes they may not have to report to work everyday at 8am but while everyone is sitting at home relaxing in the evenings and weekends, the entrepreneur’s wife could step in to help her husband finish a work project she isn’t getting paid to do.

   
   

3. You have no knowledge of your finances and like to spend however you please.

   
   

   Can owning a small business give you financial privileges? Yes, but being an entrepreneur’s wife doesn’t guarantee you an unlimited bank account.

   
   

   When I quit my job in 2023, we took a major pay cut. I couldn’t get my nails done regularly, couldn’t buy clothes, and we couldn’t go on luxurious vacations. To grow the business, we decided to sacrifice these things, pay ourselves minimum, and spend only on necessities.

   
   

   I cut my lifestyle to help grow my husband’s business. I didn’t use the business as leverage to elevate my lifestyle. Big difference.

   
   

   Successful entrepreneurs may know how to financially provide, invest, and manage their money that works to their family’s benefit, but being one as a couple means setting goals together and stewarding your finances as a team. Briston may bring home the money, but we constantly talk about goals, budgets, and how we’re going to spend our money for that given month.

   
   

4. You didn’t marry your spouse for love, you love the lifestyle your spouse gives you.

   
   

   This similarly ties with the first one. When I was working on a philanthropy project, one of the employees of the organization we were partnering with mentioned how “they married for love.” The comment was light-hearted and humorous, but it also told me that people may think the entrepreneur’s wife said “I do” for reasons beyond love and romance.

   
   

   God has a purpose for every marriage beyond butterflies and chemistry, but it is through falling in love that we see that purpose.

   
   

   Since my senior year of college, I have had a heart for philanthropy. It’s what I pursued a master’s in. When Briston and I started dating, I realized how complimenting our two desires were - his love for business, my love for philanthropy, and how these desires were God-given.

   
   

   We already loved one another.

   I already had butterflies.

   There was already chemistry.

   
   

   But God showed me that His purpose in marriage isn’t just based on romance - it’s also based on the dreams and desires He’s planted in us to advance His Kingdom.

   
   

5. We see ourselves as less than, 2nd class, nothing more than objects to build a family and raise children.

   
   

   The longer I am in this role, the more I see how Biblical womanhood goes against the feminist agenda. You might think being raised in church excludes you from this ideology but it doesn’t. Our society has indoctrinated feminism into every aspect of our lives.

   
   

   When God asked me to quit my job to help Briston with the business and raise our daughter, I had an identity and purpose crisis. Why? Because society teaches us that performance, striving, and career/financial accomplishments are what define us. Everything from grades to sports to hobbies suggests that women should strive to do anything a man can do. But this isn’t realistic.

   
   

   The issue with the feminist worldview is that God is extinct. You are in control. Men are the problem. And you deserve the same opportunities as men.

   
   

   Biblical womanhood is the opposite. God is real and in control. Our fallen nature is the problem. And we deserve opportunities that complement our bodies and set us a part from men.

   
   

   God created two genders (male and female) of the same value to fulfill different roles. Submitting yourself to a husband, surrendering your ideology to God, and sacrificing your dreams for your family do not mean you believe women are less than. It means you have enough humility to say “We can’t do everything, nor are we called to.”

   
   

   The true identity of The Entrepreneur’s Wife is found in Proverbs 31 - “An excellent wife, who can find?” It is seen in the examples of Esther, Ruth, and Mary who laid down their lives for the sake of their people and the next generation. It is a call for women of God not to do less but to be more of who God called them to be - the helper to their small business owner in this feminist obsessed world.

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