3 Common Mistakes that Hold Us Back from the Life & Business We Desire

What is holding you back from experiencing the life and pursuing the business you desire? Have you thought about how different your life could be if you took a leap of faith rather than fall victim to that thing?

After 4+ years of being married to an entrepreneur and becoming an adult, I've realized that there are 3 common mistakes many of us make that consequently keep us from experiencing the fullness of our goals and aspirations.

1. Fear

   Most of us either have a fear of trying or a fear of failing. Sadly, this mindset keeps us from ever stepping into a new season or change of life.

   
   

   A common quality of successful entrepreneurs is their willingness to take chances. They are risk-takers. And can be seen as overly optimistic about an idea.

   
   

   They also carry a sense of confidence that their plan, idea, etc. is going to work out, and even if it doesn't, they are secure in their abilities to figure out how to succeed regardless.

   
   

   As Christians, we place our confidence in Christ. It's not that we don't see ourselves as capable, but when you are making a change or trying something new, having the confidence that God supports your decision limits your temptation to shrink back in fear.

   
   

   How do we obtain this confidence?

   - Prayer: "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 Before making a decision, pray about it. Seeking God's will allows us to act in confidence because we know and can depend on His provision rather than our willingness to try.

   
   

   When Israelites were entering the Promise Land, they were assigned to take down Jericho. This was a big task. But rather than shrink back in fear based on their abilities versus their opponent's, God's People sought their confidence from the provision God had given Joshua - "Be strong and courageous, for I am with you whether you go."

   
   

   Your life is the same way - God is with you when we follow His plan and stay dependent on Him. C.S. Lewis says, "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." Conquering fear doesn't mean we won't feel afraid, but that we act despite our fears because we know that in Christ we can do all things.

   
   

   - Submission: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 Such a common verse, but what I love about the context of Jeremiah's words is the turmoil Israel is facing. They are exiled from their home, taken as slaves because of their sin. Yet, God has a plan for them to succeed - regardless of their current circumstances.

   
   

   Fear will limit your faith in God's goodness. When we experience hardship, we are faced with questions that either build or break our dependence on God. Carrying a heart of submission in times of hardship and praise helps us remember His provision over our lives. It's not that bad times = a bad God. But that God is good regardless of the times we face.

   
   

   - Knowing the Word: "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates day and night." Psalm 1:1-2

   
   

   It's hard to be confident in someone's character if you barely know them. God is the same way. How can we expect to trust Him if we barely read His Word?

   
   

   My biggest piece of advice when breaking the habit of fear is to learn about God's character and depend on His Word more than you depend on your own understanding.

   
   

   Proverbs tells us to trust God with ALL our hearts, not lean on our understanding, and follow His guidance. Trusting someone takes time. Getting to know them is the secret to having full dependence on who they are and what they can do.

2. Debt

   This one might shock you, but debt can hold us back from experiencing the life we want. Most people think the opposite - that debt helps you build your desired life. But from what I've seen and experienced, I've found that it confines you to a life limited by cash flow and minimum payments.

   
   

   "The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." Proverbs 22:7 Regardless of your denomination, Proverbs clearly explains that debt is unwise because of its constraints on the borrower.

   
   

   "But how do I then create the life I want if I can't take on debt?"

   
   

   Godly stewardship.

   
   

   I'm not saying you can't take on any debt! But the type of debt and the way you handle debt will determine if you can achieve the life you actually want.

   
   

   Most people who take on debt do so out of impatience and a lack of self-control. They want the new car now and would rather pay for it monthly (and with interest) than save their money wisely and pay for an older model in cash.

   
   

   We see this with:

   - Car payments

   - Student Loans

   - Credit Cards

   - Business/Personal Loans

   
   

   The problem is that you never learn how to manage your personal finances with patience and self-control. You never learn to budget, sacrifice, or adapt to change, and lack the discipline that would help you build wealth and achieve real results.

   
   

   You also never live in a state of peace.

   
   

   Briston and I have seen the effects of debt payments. They're frustrating, limiting, and keep you in a cycle of never actually getting ahead (because of the interest). Since we decided only to buy cash cars, not take out student or business loans, and pay off our credit cards every month, we have seen positive results.

   
   

   1. We have more cash flow. Probably my favorite part. Rather than sending your money to 50 different debt payments, we can decide how we want to spend our money, what to save for, and where to give.

   
   

   If an emergency happens, it's okay, we have the money.

   If we want to go on vacation next year, great! We can save for it.

   If a ministry needs funds or we want to help a charity or cause, we can give without stressing about how to pay for bills to rest of the month.

   
   

   Living like this is not easy, but it has been worth it!

   
   

   2. We can build a business. This might shock you, but our business only has two small debts. We pay cash for nearly everything, and the two debts we have, we pay extra per month to pay them off early. Doing this has allowed us to save money in the business, hire employees, and not worry about paying ourselves during the slow months, and upgrade equipment.

   
   

   You can't build on limited cash flow. And you honestly can't build the life you want with little to no savings. The rich can live just as broke as the poor. Income isn't what defines a good quality of life; it's what you do with that income that determines your financial net worth.

   
   

3. Never Growing

   Another common mistake humans seem to make is the lack of learning and growth they invest in after high school or college. Just because you graduated and got the degree doesn't mean you're an expert. Successful people look at life through the lens of a student, not a master. They see themselves as a continual learner, not a teacher who knows it all.

   
   

   The 7 F's is a great way to evaluate areas of your life you can grow in:

   - Faith

   - Family

   - Field (Job/Career)

   - Fitness

   - Finances

   - Friends

   - Fun

   
   

   If you really want a fulfilling life, it starts with finding something you didn't previously know and growing in it. This can mean reading a book, taking a class, attending a conference, or simply listening to a podcast, YouTube video, or looking the topic up online.

   
   

   The important thing is setting GOALS. Goals help us maintain a constant state of growth and keep us on track. Setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely) goals gives you the best success plan for growing.